LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS PART 1: COMPATIBILITY ISSUES

LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS PART 1: COMPATIBILITY ISSUES

 

It is a good feeling to have a partner to confide in, to rely on and to love. People fall in love for so many different reasons. To some, it could be the way the person talks, walks, smiles, or behaves him/herself. While to others, it could be because of what the person possesses: money, car, house, good job, the list is endless.

I am not going to talk about that because we are all different. Bingo! That is the keyword for my post: DIFFERENT.

I want to tackle the issue of compatibility in couples. As you can see, this is my blog and that simply means I have the right to express myself (with all due respect).

I have heard so many people say "I broke up with my partner simply because both of us are not compatible". Sure, I can't tell them otherwise. But the question I would love to ask them is "what does compatibility mean to you?"

Some will say "Compatibility is when two people love the same things, enjoy the same music, behave the same way, etc". In short what they try to say is that they look for a partner that is exactly like them!!!! Phew!!! I think they should also believe in some kind of reincarnation!

Let me go straight to the point. The fact is that we are all different. No one is like you, and you are not like anybody else. So looking for someone that is exactly like you is like looking for a tear drop in the ocean. To me compatibility simply means that two (2) people are able to complete each other. This is where the issue of temperament comes in. I call a person who is compatible with me someone that is able to do what I would love to do, but that I fail to do due to circumstances beyond my control.

If for example, I am a shy person and my shyness hinders me from achieving certain things that I would love to achieve, I would pray to God to give me a partner that is outspoken. Why? Because this person will help me get rid of my shyness and improve the way I relate to people. But if I fall on another person that is also shy simply because I feel we are the same, both of us will be blocked in the middle of nowhere. Maybe the saying “opposites attract” could fit in here.

Another incident will be that of a man that is very hot tempered. I would pray for him to get a partner that is completely his opposite: a very patient and tender hearted lady. This will help balance up the “temper”. But if this particular man stumbles on a “hot tempered” lady like him because they think that they have things in common, their house might be transformed into a boxing ring.

You need a person that is able to lift you up. The Bible says “2 is better than one, because when one falls, the other can lift them up”. I simply love this scripture. But I think it is not just any 2 people. Imagine a house where the husband and wife are both very impatient people. They can’t seem to hold their anger every time they don’t get what they want. If something happens that does not please them, who will be there to comfort the other? I believe they will both be running up and down scattering anything that comes along their way.  But if the impatient husband has a very patient wife, she will not only be able to comfort him but she might even help him calm his nerves down. Now that is what I call compatibility……………….To be continued

 

 

KENYA, such a wonderful and beautiful country...My heartfelt condolences to everyone that has lost someone in the tragedy!!! MAY GOD BLESS KENYA ):

Surviving without water in Dakar

Hello,
Can you imagine that for over four (4) days, i.e. since Thursday 12/09/2013, there has been a shortage of water in Dakar?
No, I am not joking! No water at all in any area...Well the water company said there was (and still is I guess) some kind problem with one of their major water pipelines. Consequence: No water from the taps!
Am sure you are trying to figure out how we have been surviving.. Well, in most areas, people are relying on the so called "pompes"- a French word for water pump. Now, I want to be realistic. Therefore, I will explain to you how my two sisters and I have survived this ordeal:

We have to wake up early in the morning to go to a house where there is a water pump and join the queue of 20 people or so. This is not the only pump available, others have decided to get water from different pumps. My sisters and I are "pumping" it out from a pump that belongs to the local Mosque.

Upon arrival, we have to ask who is the last person in the queue, then place our buckets. It's actually a queue for buckets, drums etc. Then the waiting begins, but it is somehow interesting. I say this because I enjoy listening to people, and Senegalese can talk!!!! From stories like "We knew Macky Sall (President of Senegal) would not do anything, to stories like "my husband is planning to buy a water pump for our house so that we won't have to make a queue"

Obviously, I can't contribute much because I am stressed out, and running out of patience. It's our turn to pump....Then I have to put the bucket on my head to carry it to our apartment on the second floor!! Phewww! Now I am secretly appreciating what my mom taught me. Well, now at least we have some water for house chores and for bathing!

But honestly, it is a VERY bad situation. This water is not safe for drinking, and after bathing with this water, I am having pimples on my face! Lord help me!

AFRICAN INTEGRATION

Not much emphasis has been put on “African integration”. What! I almost forgot about it. In fact, for a while now, I have been seeing my fellow Africans from different countries as foreigners! Oh yes, we all call them that name.

When I say African integration, I simply mean the “coming together” of African countries. In short, it will consist of creating some sort of pan- Africanism kind of spirit between Africans. I am tempted to say this simply because it annoys me to see all these barriers that have been placed between us. Let me give you some fine examples (please bear with me):

1.      When most Africans meet abroad (outside of Africa), they seem to ignore each other. And please don’t disagree with me, because I know exactly what I am talking about. Each one wants to show that they have changed “levels”, trying to speak English like the Queen Elizabeth, while twisting words…trying to speak French like Sarkozy, while mixing up “le” and “la”…

2.      When I left Zambia to come to Senegal, I spent almost 2 days, simply because there is no direct flight from Zambia to Senegal. Don’t tell me there isn’t any pathway in the air to connect these two countries directly

3.      Just to get into another African country is yet another hassle! Travelling from Senegal to the Gambia by road (and it’s not very far) is an experience you will not forget in terms of “police check -ups”…Trying to enter Mauritania from any part of the west Africa is just as good as ZERO! May I remind you that these are in the same region, i.e. the West African region?

4.      I have seen segregation at its highest level here. What I mean is a situation where you see Gabonese only associating with their fellow compatriots, Nigerians doing the same, Congolese always speaking Lingala even when they are around people that don’t speak the language…Before they call me a racist, let me also point out that my fellow Zambians here never or rarely intermingle with Senegalese! Shame!

These and many more examples all point to the fact that Africa is filled with selfish people, who don’t think about the development of the continent! And the worst thing is that this selfishness is not only displayed between African countries, but also between people of the same country! Or haven’t you heard of the genocide in Rwanda? Haven’t you heard of all the tribal massacres in Nigeria! Take a look at Congo DRC and you will know exactly what I am talking about…

I can go and on, but I fear I would not finish today! As for me, I refuse to be a victim of this selfishness and barbarism! You are all my brothers and sisters, regardless of where you come from

Things change!!

Things change! And most of the time, there is nothing you can do about it. Yes change indeed is inevitable.

I never in my life thought that I would one day live without a mother, MY own mother who I loved so dearly. I always thought she would be with me, that we would stay together and that she would be seated on the church pew, smiling at me while I am being walked on the isle to my groom.
Yes, you guessed right...She is no longer around, she was called back to the Father. Yet again, even when she left, I never imagined that I could be far from my family (in Zambia). I mean, these are the only people I knew for heaven's sake!

Yes you guessed right, I am no longer in Zambia. I am now living in Senegal, far from the only family I knew. Can I say, like our dear Job from the Bible stories, that "the thing I feared has now fallen on me"?...NO! I will not dare say that. You know why? Because I have learned that no matter who you are, no matter where you are, something, yes a little something will happen. It is called CHANGE!

That is exactly what happened to me: CHANGE! I had to face it, I had to live with it, there was no 2 ways about it. Everything changed: eating habits, dressing, language, sleeping habits, the weather, the list is endless...But somehow, something managed to stay intact: ME! Yes the environment had changed, but I was still the lady I was. I was still the courageous, God fearing lady I was. I could not allow this CHANGE to affect who I was deep within. Then all of a sudden, I began to integrate, I began to adapt. I began to understand that everything happens for a reason. Then the greatest miracle happened to me ; I finally ACCEPTED Change!.....the story is yet to end (watch this space)

New

I have been away for a long time! Trying to create a new blog seemed to take ages, but I am glad this one can be finally published.
It's a rainy day in Dakar, slow movement